Concrete Angel
by Twin-Lupus
Summary: Terra was a lost child, searching for something. Her past, a tragedy. Her present, hopeless. Her future, nonexistent. But who was she really? Terra is revealed as not so simple a girl. Whether you love her or loathe her, I think you'll enjoy this.


Author's Notes: Well, this is a oneshot songfic about Terra. I'm not exactly how I feel about her. On the one hand, she came between Raven and Beast Boy, which is _not_ good. But she also brought them together inadvertently. She was also an interesting character, whether you liked her or not. Anyway, you can hate her or love her, but either way, I think this song's title alone describes her perfectly. But this is all up for interpretation. Also, please note that this story will jump around a lot. It may start with her with the Titans, then jump to her as a child, then after she betrayed them. Just keep it in mind!

Also, please do read the lyrics. I think they parallel Terra really well, and I hope that you readers will take the time to see it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

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**Concrete Angel**

Terra hugged her arms tightly around her. Her backpack seemed to weigh even heavier on her shoulders. Her shoes were starting to pinch her feet; she desperately needed new ones. But unfortunately for Terra, she didn't have the money to buy a new pair.

'Maybe,' she thought, as she trudged through the streets of the city, her hopes rising slightly. 'Maybe this town'll be different.'

_**She walks to school with the lunch she packed  
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back**_

As she passed the people bustling on the sidewalk, she gazed at their faces. They all seemed to blur together, stressing the anonymity of city life. It was all a little intimidating to the eight-year-old blonde, but she tried to walk straighter, so she would appear taller than she was. Her grip on the straps of her backpack tightened. She had already had to leave so many towns and cities. She wanted a home. Her powers, however, prevented her from getting her wish. The immeasurable magnitude of her strength had always caused people to fear her. At first, Terra didn't - couldn't - understand why. Her own powers, while not completely under her control, were perfectly natural to the small child.

But as she grew, she began to understand that her powers were the very thing that stopped her from finding home. Because of this, Terra had tried to learn control. She thought, perhaps, if she could get a firm grasp on her powers, they wouldn't appear, and she could pretend to be normal. But unfortunately for her, she had no such luck. Her earthly powers activated randomly and often had devastating results. Her dreams of home seemed to be connected to her control over her strength, or lack thereof. Her burning desire for a home dimmed slightly as she began to yearn for control more and more.

Perhaps that it what lost her.

_**Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday  
She hides the bruises with linen and lace**_

Terra panted heavily as she carefully slid open the window to her room in Titans Tower. As soon as she got the window in place, she hopped through. Turning around, she sent the boulder she'd been perched on flying. It landed harmlessly in the bay with a large splash.

Terra was sneaking home after a training session with Slade. He had sent her a message telling her she needed more practice with him. Her breathing still labored, she walked over to her dresser. Pulling open a drawer slowly, so as not to make too much noise, she fumbled slightly with a latch in the back of it. With a click that seemed to echo throughout the entire Tower, the latch became undone, and Terra was able to lift the "bottom" of the drawer up to reveal a secret compartment. There wasn't a lot in it. But what was there said enough.

Slade's communicators. Floor plans of the Tower, top to bottom. A large packet of paper describing exactly how a Sladebot operated. Bandages. A video camera with extra tapes. But by far the worst, five folders, each labeled for a different Titan.

Terra ignored the contents of the drawer except for the bandages. Her chest stopped heaving, and she finally caught her breath. Pulling out the gauze, she undid the knot at the end. It unraveled, spilling all over her feet in an unceremonious clump. She quickly reeled it in, her eyes shifting towards the door, as if the quiet sound the fallen bandage had made could wake up a teammate. Or those she called her teammates.

As Terra carefully pulled up part of her shorts, a nasty gash was brought into the open. She winced, gritting her teeth. The flow of blood had slowed to an ooze, and it bled sluggishly. Lucky for her, Terra's clothes were designed to repel any and all substances, as were all the Titans uniforms. If they were doused in some sort of chemical, their clothes would work as a repellant for a short time, hindering the process of absorption into the skin.

Terra wrapped her leg with a precision like that of a professional. Slade had taught her well.

After she had finished bandaging herself, Terra replaced the gauze back into her secret hiding place, and closed it all up again. Even at a careful inspection, the drawer seemed completely innocent once more. Terra stood up with slight difficulty, then walked over towards the bathroom adjacent to her own room. Stepping inside, she turned on the light. Spotting her make-up case, she opened it up.

At first glance, the case seemed to be perfectly normal. There was nothing very out there, like black lipstick or purple eyeliner. But if someone knew their make-up, which neither of the other girls in the Tower really did, someone might have noticed the unusual amount of cover-up. Terra had tons of it, and plenty of different brands. But Terra needed her excessive loads of cover-up. Choosing one at random, she pried open the lid and held it up so she could peer into the tiny mirror grafted onto the top. The bruises were already starting to form around her eye, and Terra could tell they were appearing elsewhere.

Terra rubbed her thumb in the cover-up, getting a small amount on her finger. She carefully applied it all around her eye. In a matter of minutes, the black was gone, and she looked completely normal. She did the same to the other bruises on her arms and legs, rubbing the make-up in until it blended perfectly with her skin.

Halfway through her chore, Terra stopped, looking around. She thought she had felt a presence in her room beyond the bathroom door. Peering cautiously around the doorway, she gazed around her room. No one was there.

But something tugged inside her. As she looked at the room the Titans had made up for her, she couldn't help but feel sort of depression. Was this her home? Could it have been her home, had she not agreed to help Slade? Or, like every other place she'd ever been to, was it just a passing shelter, good to keep out the rain and nothing more?

She had found people like herself. She had finally discovered people who went through the same things she did. But they were still different than her, in ways she couldn't really begin to describe.

Still, Terra felt the tug of something she hadn't felt in a long time. She felt the calling of a home. Terra shook her head, a little disappointed. Even though she was in her room in Titans Tower, she still felt the need to go home. Wherever that was.

_**The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask  
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask**_

Raven glared over the top of her book at the blonde girl as she entered the main room in the morning. She was smiling and perky, and Raven hated perky.

"Hey guys," Terra said, good-naturedly. "Everyone have a nice sleep?"

"Sure did," replied Cyborg pleasantly. "It seems you did too! You slept in late!"

Terra raised an eyebrow. "What time is it?"

"Nine thirty."

Terra snorted. "That's not that late!"

"Had a busy night or something?" Robin teased, helping Starfire set the table. Even after her long stay with the Titans, the alien girl still didn't understand that plates did not have to be perfectly aligned with the dents Beast Boy had made in the table. Starfire thought each groove was some sort of secret table-setting letter, and she "didn't understand the language of the table." With Robin's help, the small chore was done a lot faster.

Terra laughed, putting her hands on her hips. "Oh yeah, very busy! Sleeping gives me a real workout!"

Raven's eyes narrowed. Terra's motion had been a little too fluid, her laugh a little too quick. It reminded her of watching a movie with a new actor or actress. They were still finding their footing, and exaggerated their movements in an attempt to look more realistic.

Raven opened her mouth to say something, then decided against it. Terra's face looked cheerful enough, and the flicker of something else was gone. "I'm going to meditate," Raven announced. It surprised the dark girl that she even bothered; the rest of her teammates were preoccupied. Cyborg seemed to have heard slightly, and waved his hand carelessly over his head at the girl before directing his attention back to the group in front of him.

Raven stood there for a tiny fraction of a moment longer than she wanted to. The usual protests of her leaving didn't come floating through the air at her. No one seemed to care.

'What are you hiding, Terra?' Raven thought to herself, as she walked away from the group. Raven kept her eyes on Terra's face, where the current smile looked a little odd, though Raven couldn't say how, exactly. 'What are you hiding?'

**_Bearing the burden of a secret storm  
Sometimes she wishes she was never born_**

Terra's eyes filled up with tears as she backed away from the other children on the playground. Their small faces gazed at her in open-mouth surprise. Terra clawed at her arms, where chucks of rock had attached themselves, clinging to her as if there was static holding them. The tears that had threatened her spilled over, and a stream of salty water trickled down her face, leaving trails of white against her dirty skin. She continued to back away form the sandbox, until something snapped. She grabbed her backpack and took off, barreling through the park, not bothering to apologize to those she ran into.

Terra tried to clench her teeth to subdue the fury at herself that was about to emerge, but it didn't seemed to be working. She could taste salt in her mouth and numbly wondered where it came from when she realized she had bitten her tongue.

Turning into an alley, Terra threw the backpack onto the ground and flung herself into a large cardboard box, warped from the rain the previous night, but dry by morning. Wiping her face, Terra smeared mud on her cheeks. With a start, she realized the earth that had wrapped itself around her arms was still there. Through her tears, Terra could see it snaking around her forearms, like a snake or a vine. Blinking, Terra stretched her power out into the rock. She could feel the raw power of the earth. It embraced her as its own, considering her a rock as well. Terra sniffled.

She held up her hands and let the rock twist its way up, wrapping around her wrist. Terra focused her power and asked the earth to change form. The earth complied, and Terra felt the burning sensation of the earth's power. Although it didn't hurt, it was still a surge of energy that the small child had to deal with. Terra again called upon the rock to change, but this time, it exploded, shards of rock flying everywhere.

Terra felt sobs wrack her body again. She hugged her knees, rocking back and forth. "I want to go home," she moaned. "I want to go home." No answer came to save her, and she continued to rock back and forth, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

"I wish I wasn't here," she whispered. "I wish I was gone."

**_Through the wind and the rain  
She stands hard as a stone  
In a world that she can't rise above  
But her dreams give her wings  
And she flies to a place where she's loved  
Concrete angel_**

Beast Boy stared at the statue of his first love. Terra stood there, her arms flung out wide to the heavens, her eyes unseeing. Beast Boy sighed deeply, watching her face for any sign of remorse, and emotion. The stone betrayed nothing, however. The elements could rage around her, and she wouldn't flinch. She could fall, and be free of the pain it would usually inflict. But at a price, was she given this freedom. She was gone.

"Terra," Beast Boy whispered. "Why?"

Gazing at her, she almost looked like an angel. While in life, she was lean and wiry, as a stone, she gained an unearthly grace. Her human form had looked young for her age, maturity not quite reaching her, but it seemed that after departing from the world, she hit a peak of beauty.

The flowers Starfire had placed by Terra's statue wilted, petals strewn about the dead stems. The paper that had wrapped the roses had long since blown away, tossed by the wind.

A sound behind Beast Boy alerted him, revealing to him he was alone. He turned to face his visitor.

**_Somebody cries in the middle of the night  
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights_**

Terra bit down hard on her fist, trying to stop the sobs from escaping. She struggled to catch her breath as the tears continued to pour down her cheeks.

She fumbled to grab a tissue and blow her nose. A watery smile penetrated the tears as Terra laughed at her own honking. Then the smile disappeared, just as quickly as it came. Terra's tears ensued.

Outside, a fist was raised, ready to knock on the door. The person outside then decided against it, and walked away. The only sounds in the hall were the muffled sobs and the swishing of a blue cloak.

**_A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate  
When morning comes it'll be too late_**

Terra stared at the dingy ceiling in Slade's lair. Her apprentice uniform was quite comfortable, and she did not feel the need to attempt to remove it for the night.

She couldn't believe it. She had defeated the Titans. She actually defeated the Titans. Slade was still in the other room, gloating over Robin's badge, but Terra had retired early. She wanted to reflect on her victory. It was just beginning to sink in. Terra was just beginning to realize what she accomplished.

"I took them down," she whispered to herself. "I took down the Teen Titans. I beat them."

She turned over. "They deserved it."

Terra flipped over again. She stared at the wall, her stone cold eyes softening slightly. She sighed deep in her throat. 'Is this home?' she asked herself. 'Some cell in a city about to be taken over by a ruthless villain?'

Terra clenched her fist as she turned on her side once more. It wasn't home. Her search continued.

**_Through the wind and the rain  
She stands hard as a stone  
In a world that she can't rise above  
But her dreams give her wings  
And she flies to a place where she's loved  
Concrete angel_**

"I thought you might be here," Raven said, her eyes on Beast Boy's face. Her voice was flat and emotionless, as it usually was. But underneath, a storm raged.

Beast Boy looked at the ground. "I know I need to let go… but I can't. I can't help but feel we failed her somehow."

"We…"

"Do you think we did?" Beast Boy asked, raising his gaze to stare Raven down. For a split second, the dark girl faltered.

"Beast Boy…"

"Do you?" demanded Beast Boy. Raven sighed.

"I think she was too far gone before we even met her. She needed something that we couldn't give her… that even Slade couldn't give her."

"What was that?"

"I don't really know. I'm sorry. I know you want answers, but I don't have them. I don't think anyone does. Terra had some… issues that she would have had to work out at some point. The problem was she repressed them so much, it would have taken… well, a long time to fully open her up. It's like getting a cut and letting it scar; if you ever want it to go away completely, you have to do all sorts of things to it. Beast Boy, I know you… really cared for her, but you never would have been able to heal her."

Beast Boy put his hands in his pockets, shuffling his feet. He turned back around to face the statue, gazing at Terra's rocky face. It seemed likes ages ago that he had stared at the face in the Tower, imagining her smile, up close to his face. Those thoughts had vanished now, fading out in thin, grays wisps.

Raven moved forward to stand next to him. Although he didn't look over, he acknowledged her presence with a nod of his head.

"Raven?" he asked quietly, his eyes not leaving Terra's face. "Is she… in a better place?"

**_A statue stands in a shaded place  
An angel girl with an upturned face_**

The light shone in through the cracks of the strange ceiling over Terra's head. The makeshift room around her threw shadows on her face. Terra's statue-face gazed upward and her arms were outstretched. She looked as though she were about to sprout stony wings and fly away, higher and higher into the skies.

It was odd, the way Terra looked as she became encased the burning lava. Although it had been by no means planned, she resembled an angel that was sometimes placed over tombstones. The cemetery was home to many different sorts of tombstones, ranging from the typical to the religious to the downright creepy. But Terra had created her own memoir. She had left the world with a constant reminder of her sacrifice. But it wasn't a depressing or decrepit reminder. It was uplifting, and basically said, "I'm sorry."

**_A name is written on a polished rock  
A broken heart that the world forgot_**

Beast Boy traced Terra's name on the plaque with his finger. Raven still stood quietly, contemplating Beast Boy's inquiry. She crossed her arms over her chest.

Memories of the girl he knew flashed through Beast Boy's mind as he gazed at the commemorative inscription. He distinctly remembered the time when they first met. They had taken her back to the Tower without a second thought, ready to open their home and their hearts to her. But Terra hadn't been ready for that. She may never have been ready for that.

Beast Boy could remember Starfire summing up all they needed to know about Terra. "She needs a home." What really stung Beast Boy was the fact that Terra may never have been able to find what she was looking for. Terra had needed a home, wanted a home, but never been able to find it. Beast Boy was saddened that he couldn't share his joy of the home he found at Titans Tower with Terra. He couldn't then, and he definitely couldn't now.

Raven looked up. "Beast Boy."

**_Through the wind and the rain  
She stands hard as a stone  
In a world that she can't rise above  
But her dreams give her wings  
And she flies to a place where she's loved  
Concrete angel_**

"I don't know if Terra is in a better place. I honestly don't know what I believe about that. I also don't know the restrictions for that sort of thing. But… Terra was complicated. It's not a simple matter of right or wrong, yes or no."

"So you still think she's evil?" Beast Boy asked, turning to look at her.

"I don't know. I don't know what caused her to do the things she did, or say the things she said. You weren't there when we battled. She said some… pretty hurtful things. Not that I cared or anything," Raven protested. She sighed and continued. "But we may never know if she was good or evil. And I think… maybe it doesn't even matter. Maybe you can't call her that. She was shades of gray, and you're not able to distinguish the light from the darkness."

Beast Boy let out a sigh of his own. Raven held up a hand.

"That doesn't mean she didn't care about us… about you." Raven swallowed hard. 'Someday,' she thought. 'I'll tell him.' Clearing her throat, she went on. "Terra may have been evil, but that doesn't mean she didn't have a heart. She cared."

"But if you think about it," Raven said quietly, gazing up at the statue, smiling slightly at the peaceful look on Terra's face. "Now she doesn't have to worry about anything anymore. Wherever she is, whatever she's doing, she's free. She's finally escaped Slade. Just be happy about that."

"Terra was a true friend, then," Beast Boy said. He looked at Raven. "I knew it."

"Terra was complicated, like I said. Terra was lost, confused, angry, and sad all at the same time. Terra was also cheerful and upbeat. Terra was… Terra."

The two of them stood there for a little while longer, just watching the statue of their lost friend. Finally, they turned and walked from the shaded glade, allowing Terra to stand there again in peace.

The sun hit a certain point in the sky and shone brilliantly through a gap in the ceiling. It illuminated Terra's stony face, with such a healthy glow she almost looked human again. The air seemed to sparkle with radiance. The wind picked up, and blew the rose petals around the room, swirling and dancing in the glowing air. If someone were to stand at just the right place, the light would reflect off the walls and appear to give the girl wings.

Terra was finally home.

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Author's Notes: Well, you can interpret that to be religious if you want. That was not my goal, but however you want to see this story is up to you. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Please review!


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